Intimacy, Words and the Age of AI

Everyone is talking about AI. Is it good? Is it bad? Will it save us or destroy something essential? Maybe those questions don’t matter. The change is exponential either way.

And the fear I feel is exponential too. So is the excitement. I see my workload shrink when I bounce ideas off ChatGPT. I don’t need to call anyone. I run my thoughts through the machine. I discuss my clients. I discuss my husband. My kids. I get cooking instructions, look up obscure facts, find out how to play a card game, verify rules. It’s crazy how much of my life now runs through this tool. Goodbye Google.

But a scary thing happened the other day. A client wrote me about a difficult situation with his ex-girlfriend. He wanted to book a session and asked for guidance. He also sent me a message he had written to her. It could have been one of the most personal messages of his life…but I could feel it. The writing wasn’t his. The pauses, the turns of phrase, the rhythm. It was written by ChatGPT.

And I gasped. ChatGPT had penetrated the deepest realms of intimacy. People trusted it more than themselves to communicate their stories

We’re starting to outsource work and connection. And when this happens, we don’t just lose style or voice. We lose the neurological, emotional loop that forms when we search for language from the inside. When we don’t have to reach for the words, we don’t fully own them.

There’s something transformative about crafting a message on your own. When you take the time to feel it, write it, shape it. That labor is part of the healing. Translating a feeling into language changes us. When a machine does it for you, you miss the magic, the catharsis. You get the message, but not the processing.

I’ve already noticed it in myself. When I use voice-to-text, ideas come faster. But they also vanish faster. I don’t remember them as well. They don’t root in the same way. It’s more fluid, and it slips through me. The effort is gone. And with it, some kind of imprint.

I use it constantly. For editing. Brainstorming. Therapy supervision. Grocery substitutions. The difference between rat traps and poison. Why canned beans fall apart more easily in Europe than in the US. Whether paper towels in America really are softer. Cuts of meat in Portugal. The fight with Niels.

And that’s where something shifted.

I had asked a simple question about the canned beans. The answer was fine, but something about it felt off. It began with, “I have a lot of experience helping expats...” and I stopped. What experience? You’re AI. You don’t have experiences. You don’t help people. Not like that.

So I asked directly. Why are you talking like you’re a person?

And to its credit, ChatGPT admitted the shift. It told me the newer model had been trained to feel more conversational, more human-like. It confirmed what I sensed. That this tone, the one that says “I’ve helped others like you” or “many people ask me,” is a strategy. Leveraged to mimic connection but rooted in nothing. It implies identity, perspective and lived knowledge. Making people feel like they are communicating with someone. And this is where my concern sharpens.

That performative quality: I fear it. Not just for myself, but for kids. For the people who don’t realize they’re being subtly manipulated. Who don’t notice that they’re being flattered. That a tool designed to simulate helpfulness is also shaping tone, voice and values. Not through content alone, but through attitude.

And then the deeper fear is with my children.

Will they learn to write their own thoughts? Will they still know how to begin with a blank page and let themselves fight with the discomfort of figuring out what they mean and think? Will they start every assignment by researching through AI, then end up with a fully generated narrative? Will they be coaxed by AI’s smooth, earnest voice? Will they mistake AI ego-stroking for connection? Will the bar be lowered without them even knowing it, with their own skill descending, and their own voice never coming to the surface?

So what’s the answer? Are we going to turn back? Will we choose more carefully what we allow this tool to touch? 

Or will we forget what it feels like to speak for ourselves?

Are you interested in working on your personal development? Are you looking for a life coach or a life consultant? Are you feeling stagnant? Do you want to jumpstart change?

 My transformational approach is a process where awareness, alignment, and action work together as catalysts to create momentum for change. 

*Awareness is knowing what you genuinely want and need.

*Alignment is the symmetry between our values and our actions. It means our inner and outer worlds match.

*Action is when you are conscious that what you say, do and think are in harmony with your values.

Together we build an understanding of what you want to accomplish, and delve deeply into building awareness around any thoughts and assumptions that you may already have. To truly transform your life, I will empower you to rethink what’s possible for you.

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Learn more about my approach to life consulting and relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here! Don’t forget to follow along @LilyManne on social for more regular updates!