MY APPROACH

Most people arrive here because they keep getting stuck. Maybe it’s a relationship that feels unfulfilling, detached, or off. Maybe it’s a pattern they can see clearly but can’t stop. Sometimes there’s a specific crisis; more often there’s just a persistent gap between the life they’re living and the one they know is possible.

That’s where we start.

I’m a psychotherapist and life consultant, which in practice means I work at the intersection of clinical depth and real-world change. We go deep enough to understand what’s actually driving the pattern and build the specific skills to shift it. This isn’t open-ended exploration with no destination, and it isn’t a tips-and-tools approach that skips the hard interior work. It’s both, because one without the other rarely works.

I function as a process consultant: I pay attention to how you communicate, what’s underneath what you’re saying, and where things are getting stuck. A big part of that is looking at the adaptations you developed early in life — the coping mechanisms your younger self built because they were necessary then. They were smart creations. They served a real purpose. But at some point most of them become the modus operandi of the adult, running in the background long after the original conditions have passed, and often blocking exactly the things you most want. Part of our work is identifying those patterns, understanding where they came from, and deciding which ones still serve you.

I ask questions that slow things down long enough for something new to become visible. I’m direct. If I see something, I’ll say it.

My clinical training draws on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, NeuroMindfulness, and Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy. I also bring my own frameworks to the work, particularly Memory Softening and Non-contingent Novelty, which you can read more about in my journal. I draw on all of these depending on what a client or couple actually needs rather than applying a single model to everyone. No two people need the same thing. That’s the premise my practice is built on.

I work via video. I keep my client load intentionally small so I can stay genuinely present and attuned to each person.

WHAT ARE SESSIONS LIKE?

Sessions vary depending on the person and what they're working on. We discuss what's currently happening in your life, relevant personal history, and what's shifted since we last met. The work involves exploring feelings as much as strategies. Some sessions go deep into old patterns; others are more practical and skills-focused. Most clients start weekly and move to biweekly or monthly as they progress.

For more on what individual sessions look like, read this.

Individual Work

My individual clients tend to be self-aware, often highly so, but stuck. They understand a great deal about themselves and still can’t change the pattern. They’re not in crisis exactly, but they’re not living fully either. What they want is someone who won’t just reflect their own insights back to them, who will challenge them, push back honestly, and stay in the work over time.

A central part of what I do with individuals is the distinction between insight and actual change. Insight is necessary and it’s usually the first layer. But knowing why you do something doesn’t automatically stop you from doing it. The deeper work is behavioral, somatic, and relational: interrupting the pattern rather than just explaining it. This is where memory reconsolidation work becomes important — not just understanding the old story, but updating how it lives in the body so it stops driving the present.

I work particularly with resentment and boundaries, anxiety and the emergency mentality, the fixer pattern, emotional reactivity, and people-pleasing. I also work with mothers navigating the weight of caretaking while staying connected to themselves, and with expats managing the complexity of identity, belonging, and multicultural relationships.

I don’t work with serious mental illness or acute psychiatric crisis. My work is most useful for transformation, not stabilization.

Couples Work

Most couples arrive in one of two places. Either they’re so reactive that almost anything turns into a fight — every small thing gets charged, the same arguments loop endlessly, and both people feel misunderstood and exhausted. Or they’ve quietly, unintentionally disengaged: they function fine together but live parallel lives, the distance having accumulated slowly until one or both of them realizes the connection they once had is no longer there. Both are painful in different ways, and both are workable.

I start with connection, not communication. Most couples work begins with skills. I begin with the relationship itself, because you cannot build real communication on a foundation of disconnection. Before we work on how you fight, we work on finding your way back to each other and understanding the cycle that has hijacked the relationship.

I meet with each partner individually as part of my assessment. This isn’t about gathering ammunition. It’s about understanding each person’s full story, including what’s hard to say in front of each other.

I do take sides: not in the sense of declaring a winner, but in the sense that sometimes a person’s behavior is genuinely causing harm and I’ll say so. Terry Real’s framework of relational accountability has shaped how I approach this. Loving someone doesn’t require tolerating things that are damaging the relationship or yourself. I hold both people’s realities at once and I’ll name when something isn’t working, even when that’s uncomfortable.

What This Work Asks of You

I’ll hold you accountable and I’ll be honest with you. In return, this work asks that you show up for sessions, do the assignments, and be willing to hear things that challenge your current story. If you’re not ready to look at your own part in what’s not working, we’re probably not a good fit yet.

Timing matters in this kind of work. Come back when you’re ready.