Feel Your Feelings

Feeling our feelings is a skill, ideally one we are taught by our caregivers when we are young. In the absence of kind consistent modeling; we learn to cope with our feelings by thinking about them.

Anxiety, rumination, overthinking, spiraling, and rigidity are all examples of thinking about your feelings.

Making space to actually feel your feelings is how we can process & release them.

Trying to understand "the story" attached to our feelings, or trying to solve them, is important but it isn't the first step.

All of your judgment about how you feel just makes the feeling worse and longer lasting… it is harder to get to the other side.

The strategy to feel your feelings is:

1) Name it: "I am feeling __________.”

2)Validate it "It's okay that I am feeling __________.” or "It makes sense that I am feeling __________.”

(Even if what you're feeling doesn't make sense to you right now it makes sense to some part of your nervous system. Feeling it will help you make sense of it).

3) Flag the thought that is blocking you: “Supposed to be,” “I should feel” etc… Flag the thought as UNTRUE. It is a thought, not a fact. The judgment of your feelings makes them longer, stronger and more difficult to get out of. Like a giant snowball.

4) Feel The Feeling: Look for a place in your body where you feel a physical sensation that is associated with the emotion you are feeling. Feel the sadness/anger/anxiety in your body. Move away from the thoughts and just notice the sensations as they arise. Turn toward it.

Take 5 breaths or 5 minutes and pay attention to the sensation. Try not to get pulled into the story.

It might amplify, it might ease, it might give you information. Just notice.

Emotions aren't good or bad, they are just information about what we need more or less of.

5) Speak It: “I feel sad. I feel it as an emptiness in my stomach, a sensation in the back of my head…” Notice the physical and just speak it.

4) Don’t Resist: that makes them stronger.

Feeling moved by this exercise?
This is the kind of inner work that leads to real change—not just insight, but momentum. If you’re exploring personal development or seeking guidance through a transition, I offer one-on-one work that blends deep awareness with actionable clarity.

Awareness is about naming what matters.
Alignment is living in a way that honors it.
Action is choosing again and again to stay in integrity with yourself.

If this exercise stirred something and you’d like support in moving forward, you’re not alone.

Learn more about my approach to life consulting and relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here!