Hugging Until Relaxed
Set a timer for 5 minutes. Hit start and begin hugging. You can do this standing, sitting, or lying down – whatever you like.
Take a few deep breaths to relax. Tune in to yourself – notice your body, notice your breathing, notice how you’re feeling. Where are you emotionally? Are you holding tension anywhere? Can you relax some more?
Once you feel more present and connected with yourself, begin tuning in to your partner while still focusing on yourself. Notice their body and breathing. How do they feel to you? Can you feel them holding tension? What feels good about being held by them?
Then notice – how does tuning in to your partner make you feel? What comes up in response? Bring an awareness to the chatter in your mind. What thoughts do you notice coming up? Do you find it hard to just be with your partner without some agenda or goal? Is it difficult for you to be still and quiet with each other? Does it feel comforting? Arousing? Is your mind racing? Are you worrying about your partner and what they’re thinking or feeling?
Keep hugging until the timer goes off, keeping an awareness of yourself and your own internal experience, while also letting yourself be impacted by the close physical contact.
Afterward, share how the experience was for you. What did you notice? What was challenging? What did you enjoy?
TIP: Approach this like a meditation. Unlike a ‘normal’ meditation though – where the focus is on your own subjective experience – in Hugging Til Relaxed, the focus is on your own experience while including your partner.
Why this works:
Hugs are really, really good for you. Research shows they reduce stress, increase serotonin (the happiness hormone), and release oxytocin (the bonding brain chemical).
This means this is a great exercise to build health, happiness, and connection, all at the same time.
It can be challenging at first to slow down and simply be with each other. But with practice, this simple intimacy exercise can go to some incredibly deep places.
Hugging is especially helpful if you’ve noticed a decrease in physical intimacy in your relationship, or you’re facing challenges in your sex life. But it’s only a first step.
Feeling moved by this exercise?
This is the kind of inner work that leads to real change—not just insight, but momentum. If you’re exploring personal development or seeking guidance through a transition, I offer one-on-one work that blends deep awareness with actionable clarity.
Awareness is about naming what matters.
Alignment is living in a way that honors it.
Action is choosing again and again to stay in integrity with yourself.
If this exercise stirred something and you’d like support in moving forward, you’re not alone.
Learn more about my approach to life consulting and relationship coaching here or get in touch for your free 30-minute consultation here!
